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Jun 01, 2008

Three hookers and their mom

SexYou couldn't get me in the theater with chloroform and a hand truck, but I am grateful to the "Sex and the City" movie for some hilarious reviews:

Kyle Smith: "Unlike the 'Star Wars' nerds, who are under no illusions that they will ever actually take the Millennium Falcon out for a chance to complete the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, the 'Sex and the City' fangirls think that they can live the life they see on TV."

Anthony Lane: "Mr. Big not only buys her a penthouse apartment ('I got it'), he offers to customize the space for her shoes and other fetishes. “I can build you a better closet,” he says, as if that were a binding condition of their sexual harmony: if he builds it, she will come. The creepiest aspect of this sequence was the sound that rose from the audience as he displayed the finished closet: gasps, fluttering moans, and, beside me, two women applauding."

May 23, 2008

Da-Da-Dah...Da-da-DAH!

I'm briefly breaking my "no blogging until the book is finished" rule to announce: My review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is up at E! Online. And yes, it pretty much rocked.

(Sorry, Steve. It did. Honest.)

May 07, 2008

Speed Racer: Better than Iron Man, IMHO

01It should come as no surprise that the Big Actioner with the Astro Boy tattoo (that would be me) was a big fan of the Speed Racer cartoons. Yes, they were goofy, poorly acted, and occasionally (due to poor editing and translation) made little sense whatsoever. Yes, Spritle and Chim Chim were annoying and—as I got older and more into the racing/action elements—kind of embarrassing. But the gist was this: Speed had a hot car, a hot girlfriend and amazing adventures around the world. His brother mysterious friend Racer X was as badass a guy as was permitted on children's TV in those days.

It would have been easy to take the Speed Racer concept and adapt it into some kind of Fast and the Furious/Michael Bay kind of adventure flick. It may have even turned out okay—watchable and entertaining as, say, Transformers. But the Wachowskis have taken the source material and elevated it without making the it more "adult" or "realistic." In fact, they took it and ran in the opposite direction.

The question when updating and adapting a comic, book, animation or tv show for a live-action feature is what to leave out and what to change. The Wachowskis leave almost nothing out. They retain almost every single aspect of the original animation (no matter how goofy), including weird interjections from Spritle and Chim Chim, a cop named Inspector Detector, humorously wooden acting, and exotic fictional locales.

The trailers provide a glimpse of what you get on the screen, but it's just that. The opening scenes of the movie reveal a CGI wonderland, where the sky is an impossible shade of blue and the whole world is saturated with colors that may not have existed before. It's hyper-real, as if someone found the proper spots in your brain and tweaked all the settings for your eyes. Even the mundane settings such as the Racer house, Speed's school and neighborhood have this visual approach, creating a convincing, comprehensive alternate universe. Michael Giacchino's score also takes this approach, starting with music from the original series (not just the well-known there song) and building on it, pushing it beyond expectation. From the outset, suspension of disbelief is not an issue. It's not just suspended, but buzzing around freely.

The story elements are pretty much in line with the animated series as well, for better or worse. Evil racing syndicate employs thugs and unscrupulous racers to satisfy greed. There are quite a few clichés along the way, but it all works together and fits in with the wacky, wild cartooniness of it all. Some of the Spritle stuff is genuinely funny, Racer X has never been more badass, and I finally get what some people have always seen in Christina Ricci. Trixie is downright sexy. The fight sequences take anime conventions and translate them into live-action, adding neon-bright visual flavor.

The racing sequences are amazing. Unlike Iron Man, during which I was repeatedly thinking, "Show me something new," Speed not only has the expected never-before-seen visuals, it contains newly-invented ways of racing cars. The tracks contain halfpipes and bowls, with cars drafting up, grinding the rails, and dropping in off the edges like skateboards. They use the famous lifters (complete with cha-cha-cha sound effect) to flip back and forth. Spinouts and mid-air collisions are common racing tactics. They totally defy (ignore, warp, destroy) physics. The camera motion should cause more nausea than Cloverfield, as up, down, over and under become somewhat relative.

Speed may not shatter Iron Man's opening weekend box office, but for me the bar for this summer's crop of blockbusters has been raised. I don't expect any to come close to it until Dark Night opens in July.

May 05, 2008

See the movie, buy the stuff

IndymmsI rate movie toys and collectibles for Metromix as part of my swan song, the summer movie issue. Yay!

Trailer trash

Ironman_2"Iron Man" -- great stuff; fun movie, Downey perfect casting. But seriously, the whole thing has me agreeing with Kevin F: No more trailers.

This was a particularly egregious example of having seen the entire thing before it came out. I mean, they showed the *entire* humvee scene in the coming attractions; some people in the theater were actually saying lines of dialogue. Was any sequence in the movie not in the trailer? Ah yes, one. The "hidden" scene after the credits ... which was cut off when we saw it (the handful of geeks left in the theater nearly rioted, to no avail).

Unfortunately, before the film they showed the new "Dark Knight" trailer, so now I don't have to see that movie.

Apr 12, 2008

Watchmarketing... Um, no. Actually not.

I don’t know if anyone else has seen one of these yet, but I think this is the first billboard for Zack Snyder’s adaptation of WATCHMEN.

Img_0110

That would be Rorschach sitting at the bottom there, red tie flapping in the wind. The line is a paraphase of one in his journals.

UPDATE: DAMMIT!

As commenter Heather points out at my blog, that is not a billboard for the Watchmen movie, but a billboard for Frank Miller’s adaptation of The Spirit.

See, this is why I should never drink in the mornings. Especially not with all that cough syrup.

I will point out, however, that the line is still very much like one from Rorschach.

Mar 27, 2008

Sucks to be you, Sarah Marshall

 Sarah Marshall of Glendora didn't get a lot of notice. Until about two weeks ago.

At least the studio feels some remorse...and by "some" I mean "none whatsoever." 

But don't expect any sympathy cards from the Universal marketing department.

"We wanted people to ask the question 'Who is Sarah Marshall?' " said Adam Fogelson, president of marketing and distribution for Universal Pictures. "And everything we hoped would happen has come to pass."

The least they could do is offer these women a free movie ticket.  Smart PR, anyone?

Mar 13, 2008

Nonetheless, a flagrant violation of "No Monkeys in Movies"

Speed I take back never giving a shit about Speed Racer.  This actually looks fun.  (The first trailer...not so much.) 

Of course, some day giant media companies will also find a way to make it easy for numbskull bloggers to embed clips.  You know, like marketing.  Sigh.  The future. 

Mar 12, 2008

Tell me: WHY haven't we joined the CineFamily?

Dwish The Cinefamily throws down in the Silent Movie Theatre with such fare as Asian Sunday Night (April: You Hit Like A Girl: The Ladies of Kung Fu), the HOLYFUCKINGSHIT series, and Music Wednesdays...uh, Busby Berkeley, anyone?  Not to mention a Death Wish double feature

I am so there. 

Feb 20, 2008

Burn the Man!

Zack Snyder has a new post up at his blog about wrapping production on the Watchmen film adaptation. But really, all anyone will want to see is this: a still from the movie of psychotic vigilante Rorschach torching a cop.

rorschach-roast.jpg

It seems, after years of fits and starts, we're actually going to see this movie in theaters.