Big Action!

Steve Will Find Comfort In This

McCain's blogger apologizes to D&D players everywhere. Who says this campaign doesn't touch the important issues?

Original insult covered here.

Paul is dead

Some people like their hamsters straight. I happen to prefer mine backwards.

A Big Day For Deep Weirdness (UPDATED)

First, we've got these guys (warning: site is overloaded with traffic) who claim they've found the corpse of a Bigfoot.

My best guess: hoax. I've got no proof. It's just a gut reaction to the one picture that's been released, and the tone of the press release. (An Internet search on one of the guys involved doesn't exactly bolster confidence, however.) I suspect it's going to turn out like the alien footage shown in Denver a while back.

Then we've got what some people think is a chupacabra caught on tape.

Again, this is just my best guess, but I'm going to have to say this is either a feral dog or coyote-hybrid.

The guy who usually sorts through this stuff, Loren Coleman, has so much traffic on his site that I can't get through.

Still, as much as I'd like to be proven wrong, I'm reluctant to believe that mysteries get wrapped up this quickly or neatly.

Here's a little thought experiment so you can size up how much of a game-changer it would be if either of these come true. Imagine a world where we have proof of Bigfoot. Where we have to admit there's some big hairy ape-man in the woods, all over the country, and he's there all the time. Maybe we'd get used to it, like we've come to accept the mountain gorilla, and the grizzly and polar bears. But I doubt it. I'm not sure we can accept the concept, because it means there's something out there dangerously close to human, only running wild. I don't think we've got room for that in our psyches right now.

For whatever reason, the truly earth-changing events are rare, and so blatant that it's impossible to deny them. Take the dropping of the A-Bomb, or the collapse of communism, for example.

Other world-changers move as slowly as tectonic plates. The Internet is a good example. Twenty years ago, no Internet. Today, it's an accepted part of daily life. But there was no one earthquake moment when it became a piece of our everyday reality.

The big changes tend to build up under our feet, while we're still waiting for the quakes.

Pretty heavy thought for a post that started about ape-men and goatsuckers, huh?

UPDATE: Yeah, BFRO -- Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization -- says HOAX.

(Crossposted at www.chrisfarnsworth.com.)

From the Dawn of Reality TV

Real People:

That's Incredible:

Almost 30 years later, we now have Pam: Girl on the Loose. Discuss.

So I have to know ...

What happened to the Big Action Twitterfeed? Have there been long technical problems, or did it succumb to the slave-driving nature of modern technology where every action must be logged by a thankless machine world?

What is Your Battle Cry?

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Yea, verily: Who is that, running out of the fields! It is Lisa, hands clutching two hardened pitas! She screams thunderously: "I'm going to brutalize you for such a long time, you will see ultraviolet!!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Oh God

Is Barack Obama the Antichrist?

Best unintentionally funny line:

"I am not saying I am a big Mccain fan either."

Second place:

"I am not telling people he IS the Antichrist, I am merely asking the question, and listening to the comments on this site."

How Do They Rise Up

Asshats anonymous.

Remember those Anthrax mailings? The ones nobody likes to talk about when they say there hasn't been a terrorist attack since 9/11? A scientist under investigation has committed suicide.

The Montauk Monster and marketing.

Apparently my movie reviews don't suck quite as hard as Ben Lyons does. Or as hard as Rambo fans think.

Comic-Con photo parade. Almost as good as being there.

On repeat

Morning Cup O' Joel

FS: Hoverboard, Used + more

Used but functional hoverboard for sale at auction. Made by Mattel. Good for a trip around the town square, skitching on cars, escaping that bully Griff Tannen and his gang. Not so good on water (expect to soak your Nikes trying to do this). Use in the Old West rather dubious. Pink, but not too feminine. Cool graphics. Damaged by some kid in an ill-fitting jacket but still fully functional. Bidding starts at $30,000.

Also available: Bat Radio (west version), Bat cowl (Clooney version), web shooter, ray gun, droid feet, jet pack pilot helmet, eyebeam-suppressing glasses, red leather fetish/crimefighting costume with assorted S & M devices, more.

Best of all: Kryptonian playsuit.

Oops.

If you're a struggling major metropolitan daily newspaper which is dumping all kinds of resources into its online presence, this isn't what you want your site to display five minutes after a 5.8 magnitude earthquake hits your region.

Minutes later, it was replaced by a static banner (no link) that just read "Breaking news: An earthquake estimated to be 5.6 hits L.A. area."

A very brief story was up within 15 minutes, though.

An earthquake with a preliminary magnitude of 5.8 shook large parts of Los Angeles just after 11:42 a.m.

The quake shook downtown L.A. buildings and was felt as far south as San Diego and as far east as Palm Desert.

It was centered near Chino Hills, the United States Geological Survey said.

Of course, by that time, I had already Twittered more info than that, and had gotten all the details from the US Geological Survey Site.

It's only 2008 but ...

Best music video this decade?

Pimpin'

Tom Vanderbilt, author of this fascinating book called "Traffic" writes about why you should merge late (except Minnesotans), and where most accidents happen.

Just to piss off Chris: Why Batman is Dick Cheney.

History of the joke. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" dates to 1847.

And a piece by, uh, me, on a woman who forged more than 400 letters by famous writers, including this one by Dorothy Parker.

Um, Yeah? Tron.

You Stay Classy, Bob Novak.

Just when you thought Robert Novak could not possibly be a bigger douchebag.

Novak cited after hitting pedestrian.

Usually he just does a hit-and-run in his column.

Favorite quote (not from this incident, but still): “’Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!’

Stay Classy, San Diego

This is Danielle Saar. Seriously. How awesome is she?

Super Trouper

While I would not necessarily file this under "things that keep me up at night," I must say: learning that the compositional patterns of Sweden’s fab four set off neurological reactions that have medicinal powers does make me happy.

Or maybe it's just because I am listening to this. 

Monday Night Kansas

Who Ya Gonna Call?

Taken at the local auto shop, just down the street from my house.

Yes, that is Ecto-1, the ride of the Ghostbusters. I love this neighborhood.

Pimpin'

I can't make the online version of this bigger, unfortunately, but if you could, you'd see the bottom of the page says "by Eric Torbenson" and "by Mayrav Saar." Yes, it's the Big Action edition of The Post.

Eric: "Nothing percolates GDP like the need to fill the screaming maw of a new home with stainless steel appliances, memory foam beds and body sculpting equipment that gathers dust while owners horf down cheese fries at TGIFridays."

Saar: "Thinking about it, I felt people would work better and be happier."

Also, Kyle Smith has apparently been reading Chris and writes an ode to Billy Joel.

Finally: Napoleon's penis.

Who watches the Watchmen? Me!

Wantwantwantwantwantwantwantwantwant.

When Will the Rick-Rolling End?

G-d, I hope it never does. (Thanks be to Peter for kicking this over to us).

Vampire Empire

Have I mentioned I am a closet Twilight quasi fan?  A friend of mine calls it "vampire abstinence porn."  But for you (hopefully) blessed ignorants, just imagine a star-crossed nerdy mortal and uber-hunky, stalkerish vampire falling into an utterly predictable ZOMG squee-worthy Interview With the Vampire meets Harry Potter meets Seventeen kinda romance.  With Christian undertones. 

Anyhow, 'tis a pop culture phenom, I'll be counting down til the 4th/final book, Breaking Dawn, is published next month and MTV releases the Twilight movie come December.  (Every week there's Twilight Tuesday @ MTV.com...you know, in case you're interested.)

I was super bummed to pick up my latest EW and have the icky pic above staring at me. Not only is it fugs - why could they not have used this loverly pic? - but the interwebs are atwitter with backlash over one partic detail, summed up nicely by Defamer: Twilight Star's Hairy Chest Frightens The Tweens. (I especially like the fangirl pout "He looks like a hairy powdered donut.") Given everyone and their Dad manscapes these days, the furriness is a little baffling.  I would say "December can't come fast enough," but I love watching fandom at work.    

Monday morning Muppets

Feist-irific